![]() □ Reduced job performance and earring power.□ Avoidance or withdrawal from social situations.□ Fatigue,tension stress and depression.“…hearing loss in the long run leads to a litany of poor emotional and societal outcomes including, but not limited to: Many people might be bad listeners because they truly can’t hear well and their brains work in strange ways to make up for it. If you can’t answer those questions then you probably need to work on your listening.” Hearing & Listening ![]() ![]() How did that person feel about what we were talking about?.What was most concerning to this person today?.What did I just learn about this person?.“When leaving a conversation ask yourself these 3 questions: The brains of really close friends react similarly when watching short video clips for instance. The more overlap between the speaker’s brain activity and the listener’s brain activity the better the communication. Neuro science shows that when you truly connect with another person your brain activities sync. Listening is not even a thing in quasi-dialogue that is happening on social media. In social media you are “rewarded” with social proof for what you say, and you are often rewarded by the algorithm by how MUCH you say and how OFTEN you speak your mind. Social media might play a role in why listening is taking a backseat in online converstation. Which suggests that the so called “screen generation” that are now coming of age might struggle to connect with other people. Many caregivers ignore their children in favor of their phones. “We tend to listen as we were listened to as children.” We also inherited the way we listen to some degree. When a coach shouts, “Listen up!”, then what follows is often a list of rules and restrictions. When a parent says, “Listen!’, we are probably not going to like what comes next. Not everyone has the skill, and in some ways we have been conditioned not to listen. “Bad listeners are not necessarily bad people.” Key Lessons and Takeaways Conditioning and upbringing You’re Not Listening tackles questions about why we might overlook the art of listening in modern culture and what you can do to improve your listening skills. If you have read a few books about communication, negotiating and persuasion you know that these books often only touch the surface on the subject listening, so when I found a book fully dedicated to the subject I knew I had to pick it up. That we might hear from another twice as much as we speak.” – You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy It’s the missed opportunity to connect when you weren’t listening or someone wasn’t really listening to you.“The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said that nature had given men one tongue but two ears for a reason. ![]() What makes us feel most lonely and isolated in life is less often the result of a devastating traumatic event than the accumulation of occasions when nothing happened but something profitably could have. The lack of being known and accepted in this way leads to feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. It’s when someone takes an interest in who you are and what you are doing. Listening is about the experience of being experienced. Listening is not about teaching, shaping, critiquing, appraising, or showing how it should be done (“Here, let me show you.” “Don’t be shy.” “That’s awesome!” “Smile for Daddy.”). It’s what we all crave to be understood as a person with thoughts, emotions, and intentions that are unique and valuable and deserving of attention. “To listen well is to figure out what’s on someone’s mind and demonstrate that you care enough to want to know. She also has a commercial pilot's license, which she puts to good use when called upon to report from remote locations. She is known for her fresh and accessible way of explaining complex subjects, particularly the science behind human interactions, helping readers understand why people behave the way they do. Her eclectic and widely shared pieces have explored an extraordinary range of topics including health, technology, science, design, art, aviation, business, finance, fashion, dining, travel, and real estate. Kate Murphy is a Houston, Texas-based journalist whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly.
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